I mean, I'm white (as you can tell by the bicycle - bikes are one of the things that white people like). And as a white person, I understand that I probably have a better life because of it. It's not something I'm proud of, but I will admit that having pale skin and a non-ethnic name has probably helped me in my life. Thus, I'm skeptical of people who complain about "reverse-racism" and crap like that because it's garbage.
But I've never really heard any negative connotations about being white before, other than the obvious "they can't dance and they like mayonnaise". And I never even heard the mayonnaise part before Undercover Brother. It seems like every other race has some sort of negative stereotype that the anonymous cabal of racists keeps pushing on us. Well, now there is a list (a numbered list!) of things that White People like, and how wrong they are for liking them.
I don't think it would bother me so much if it weren't so accurate. I mean, that list is basically describing me and my friends. The numbers that fit me are: 3-16,18-20,23,25-27,30,31,33,35-45,55,48-53,55,58,61, and 63. That is a LOT. I mean, that's 70%. In college, that would have been a C. Getting a C on describing me without having ever met me is is pretty damned creepy.
But, the thing is, a lot of people like that stuff. The only thing I can think of as an illustration of how dumb stuff like this is the stereotype that black people like fried chicken and watermelon. Everybody likes fried chicken and watermelon, that stuff tastes good. Also, the "Jews like money," bit. Well, seriously, find me a person who hates money and I will show you a freaking anomaly. Money can be used to purchase goods and services. You'd be hard pressed to find somebody who doesn't like goods and services, they are the bomb.
I think I know what David Chappelle was getting across in his sketch where he is on an airplane, and he doesn't want to order the chicken dinner, because he hates playing into the minstrel-show black stereotype. I mean, I felt self-conscious about liking NPR. Seriously. I mean, I'm probably not going to stop liking snowboarding or bikes or stuff like that. And Panera makes some damn good sandwiches. But it's hard not to hear a little bell ring every time I chick off another mark on the list.
What I do like about the list is the things that I feel don't describe me. Liking "Thinking they know what is best for poor people." I'm very confident that I have no idea what is best for poor people. So, no skin off my nose. And "The Toyota Prius". Aside from the exterior design (it is the most aerodynamic car on the road), it is a nearly negligible improvement over a regular economy car. And it uses highly toxic batteries which will need to be replaced every 7 years.
How does the list make you feel? How much applies to you? I almost prefaced those questions with racial identifiers, but I don't think it's necessary.
3 comments:
instead of numbers, my friend, i use words:
they got me on juno, dogs, sarah silverman, vintage, garf! asian fusion food, public radio, plays, sushi, indie music, apple (mac) products, arrested development (birthday gift suggestion), breakfast places, architecture, sorta kinda marathons, david sedaris, microbrews, HAVING TWO LAST NAMES, non profit organizations, wes anderson films...there are a lot of things that i'll take if i'm offered on there, but not necessarily LOVE.
I would also say that the thing i hate most on this list is "gifted children."
Ruth: Except for MY gifted children, right? J/K!
I put the whole stinkin list on my blog. You guys, I only count 11 that I LOVE. That is crazy. Here I thought I was SO much whiter than you!
Oh, and Aaron? That's the BEST POST TITLE EVER.
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