Things to learn about: LEASES

My wife and I have been saving monies for the past few years, getting together a decent amount of scratch for a down payment on a house. Yeah, I know, that's old-fashioned, who actually puts down a down payment anymore?

Well, turns out we are freaking prescient, because about nobody wants to give you a mortgage anymore unless you are sitting on a nest egg (like us) and have stellar credit ratings (like us). We were made in the shade. We got pre-approved for a no-fee mortgage over the internet (only $3,000 in closing costs). Whatever. We'd started doing drive-by's (the suburban, house-shopper kind) of houses we were looking at. We started getting our hearts set on places that were close to wooded areas, off of main roads, and had 2-3 bedrooms.

There was just one thing holding us back: We are still in a lease. I was under the impression that you could break a lease and just pay half a month's rent penalty as long as you gave 30 days notice. Turns out, no. You pay all the rent you agreed to pay for the entire term of the lease. That's a lot of money.

So, we are not buying a house now. We will wait until our lease runs out. Unless any smart commenters happen to be able to know how to bust the hell out of a lease with minimal penalty.

Also, Delta Airlines can kiss my grits. They cancelled about 250 flights in Atlanta last week, and then gave me a hotel voucher for a hotel that was already full. Worst. Night. Ever.

Amped on pancakes and peppered-chicken

We've got one of these coming in the mail soon:


It's called a Griddler, which sounds like a cartoon character, but is actually a portal to a place I like to call "flavor country". It can either operate as a George Forman-esque dual-sided grill, or it opens up all the way and you can swap the plates to that it is a large, flat griddle. Non-stick, and the plates are machine washable. It's like this thing was designed for us.

Want a panini (fancy name for an expensive sandwich)? How about some pancakes? Hamburgers? Bacon? 6 chicken breasts covered with black pepper? WE CAN DO THAT.

This is going to be awesome. I'm going to make pancakes, and we will love our little griddler.

Two great things

First, this video:



I love how the countries/ethnicities are represented by various foods. Especially the Bahn Mi.

Second, this excerpt of an interview with world-famous rapper DMX. Be forewarned! The dude curses, and you will encounter some of the curse words he uses. If you are not accustomed to the company of sailors, you may find it crude. But still hilarious:

Are you following the presidential race?
Not at all.

You’re not? You know there’s a Black guy running, Barack Obama and then there’s Hillary Clinton.
His name is Barack?!

Barack Obama, yeah.
Barack?!

Barack.
What the fuck is a Barack?! Barack Obama. Where he from, Africa?

Yeah, his dad is from Kenya.
Barack Obama?

Yeah.
What the fuck?! That ain’t no fuckin’ name, yo. That ain’t that nigga’s name. You can’t be serious. Barack Obama. Get the fuck outta here.

You’re telling me you haven’t heard about him before.
I ain’t really paying much attention.

I mean, it’s pretty big if a Black…
Wow, Barack! The nigga’s name is Barack. Barack? Nigga named Barack Obama. What the fuck, man?! Is he serious? That ain’t his fuckin’ name. Ima tell this nigga when I see him, “Stop that bullshit. Stop that bullshit” [laughs] “That ain’t your fuckin’ name.” Your momma ain’t name you no damn Barack.

Ladies and gentlemen, this is America, and it is hilarious.

Hey Internet

I haven't posted in a while? What's up?

Just wanted to drop this tidbit I gathered after reading some links on my older sis's bloggity-blog:

The Coen Brothers are going to adapt The Yiddish Policemen's Union.

I'm half-way through the book right now (kind of stuck and half-way because I forgot it at my in-laws' house). If there is one type of movie the Coens do well, it's a weird noir film, and if there were a story that begged for a weird noir treatment, it was this one.

Based in an alternate-reality where the Jewish refugees from WWII settled in the Sitka of Alaska instead of Israel, a cop looks for the murderer of a potential-messiah who was excommunicated for homosexuality. Chess, drugs, pie, religion, mysticism, and Sam-Spade style narration abound.

I can foresee this being the Big Lebowski with more Yiddish and less weed.

Hypocrite Alert

So, totally recanting a post. This weekend, we bought Guitar Hero for Wii, now that it is in stock again. So. Much. Fun.

Kate is even enjoying it, which is good because she never played the real guitar. She is slowly working her way through the beginner songs. Once she learns to relax when playing, I think she will do even better. Right now she says her hands hurt from playing, which is really a bad sign when you are playing the easiest, slowest songs on Beginner.

If you have this game, and a Wii, you should send me your Online player ID# so that we can play online. That would be dope. Also, somebody will have to visit us and bring a guitar controller so that we can unlock the remaining songs.

Work sucks, they make me come in like-a ev-er-y day. Nobody will get that reference.

Take it easy, internets.